A Theory About Your Hearing Loss

Although there are those who speculate that your addiction to pain medication contributed to your near-complete loss of hearing, I would like to postulate another theory.

Perhaps it was your body's way of rejecting the sound of your own voice, shutting down in order to save itself from the contaminating influence of your grating voice and the inane, putrid tripe it gushes.

I am anticipating grant monies so that I may study this matter further and hopefully prove my hypothesis.